Adventures in Babysitting

Dear Spencer,

It's the 16th of the month, which can only mean one thing. My car insurance is due and my baby boy is 8 months old.

Okay, so technically that's two things.

Last week Nay went to the beach with the Kentucky family, so I got to spend a week at home playing stay-at-home-mom to you and Molly. 

At the beginning of the week I had high hopes and huge plans for how the three of us would spend our time together. In my imaginary dreamworld I pictured a glorious week of togetherness - me, my 8 month old and his adorable 4 year old cousin. We would go to the park daily for picnic lunches, take a neighborhood stroll or two and piddle as I effortlessly carpooled all over town.

Sounds delightful, right?

Wrong.

On day one Molly arrived in a good mood promptly at 8AM and after a delicious smiley face breakfast for her and apples and blueberries for you, we headed to the park.

Being the big girl she is, Molly headed straight for the monkey bars and the stepping stones, or whatever those swinging platforms of death are called.

She did this for a bit and then she was off to conquer the slide!

As soon as she made her ascend to the top of the tallest platform, she noticed that the slide was soaking wet...along with everything else around us.

DOH!

And just like that, our playground fun came to a screeching halt. There would be no swinging, no climbing and certainly no sliding.

Needless to say, you were pretty sadface about the whole thing.

At Molly's request, I let her push the stroller as we headed back to the car. She made it all of ten steps before hitting a tree root with such violent force that my entire Coke spilled all over the stroller, her feet and my cellphone.

It was time to go home.

Once we returned home you did some push-ups.

And after a good workout, you took a nap. Because baby-pushups and failed park trips are totes exhausting.

The next day we planned to go to the park but first had to go to the doctor to get some blood work done. After an early lunch, we set out on our journey.

When we arrived at our destination, I unbuckled the two of you in your car seats, put you on my hip, held Molly's hand, locked the car, realized I forgot my purse, unlocked the car, grabbed my purse, locked the car, realized I forgot my cellphone, unlocked the car, grabbed the cellphone with my mouth, relocked the car and made the trek across the parking lot.

Supermom? Pretty much. 

As we approached the front door of the building I noticed that the blinds were closed and next to the door was a sign with the tiniest letters that read "closed for lunch 12:00-1:00". I looked at my cellphone, the time was 12:04. 

Fail.

By this point I was so aggravated that I decided we would skip the park and just go back home. There was always tomorrow...

The next day proved to be much less monumental. We stayed inside for the majority of the time and things were pretty uneventful - until of course it was time to head out for round two at the lab. 

I grabbed the essentials - diaper bag, purse, keys, cellphone, you, Molly, the kitchen sink, etc. etc. and headed to the car. As soon as I got all 45 clips buckled on your car seat Molly says "Dats! I reeeeeallllly have to go potty!" 

Did I seriously forget to make the four year old pee before getting in the car? Crap. 

I unbuckled you as fast as possible, grabbed Molly's hand and bolted back into the house. Apparently I wasn't fast enough, because the next ten minutes were spent cleaning up urine off a very apologetic 4 year old and the bathroom floor.

The blood draw wasn't nearly as bad as expected, because thankfully Aunt Sassy met me to handle the hard stuff {aka hold you down while I hid around the corner}. Afterwards you and I headed home. But first we watched Sassy get attacked by a gang of cicadas in the parking lot. It was hilariously awesome.

The only other evidence of day three is this photo of you showing off your two new teeth and your tough guy bandage.

Day four, Thursday, was the quietest day of all. The three of us didn't leave the house at all and we watched movies on the sofa. Probably wise, considering I had a full day of failures planned for Friday...

Friday morning got off to a good start, we ate breakfast and did some push-ups, which resulted in you getting up on all fours for the first time.

Later, we enjoyed a nap and upon waking the three of us set out to grab a bite to eat for lunch. I gave Molly the option to choose anywhere under the sun to eat. Predictably, she chose Burger King.

I was going to take the two of you inside so Molly could play on the indoor playground, but I realized there was no way I was capable of holding you and a tray of food with drinks. Instead, we went through the drive-thru and took our lunch to the park to have a picnic. 

When we arrived at the park, all of the picnic tables were taken, so we made the trek across town to the Clock tower. I gathered all of our picnic necessities - a blanket, the food, the diaper bag, my phone, two drinks, you and Molly and we walked to the grassy area to enjoy our lunch. 

Unfortunately, the minute I spread the blanket out on the ground and pulled out all of our food, it began to rain. So we begrudgingly picked up our belongings and ran back to the car, where we enjoyed our now cold chicken nuggets and soggy fries. 

Lovely.

After the "picnic on wheels", we went to the grocery store. You and Molly rode in the "car" shopping cart and seemingly enjoyed yourselves while I picked up some essentials. All in all it was a pleasant trip with the tiny exception of a formula can falling on my toe, which I am pretty confident is now broken.

Needless to say, it was at this point, when I realized I was done. Luckily it was 4:00 on Friday and the week was done too.

Even though it was hectic and the forces of darkness were clearly working against me, I really enjoyed playing stay-at-home-mom. However, I've definitely realized that being a full-time stay-at-home-mom just isn't for me - at least not right now.

Oh, and I've also discovered that Nay really needs a raise. 

Love,

Mommy